I will always be with you
by Atemu9
Summary: Sophie's sick and Howl doesn't think she'll survive. This might be more than a oneshot
1. Chapter 1

I will always be with you

**Hopefully this would be more than an oneshot.**

It was dark and silent inside the castle.

The only light source was Calcifer which was so small it was nothing more than a speck of light. Howl wouldn't give him any new pieces of logs to place on the fire place.

Howl himself was looking out the window at the rain he had been standing there for more than two hours. The sky was dark blue that left a slight blue glow through the room giving Howl more of a ghostly era than a human one.

Markel was sitting next to Calcifer not making a sound. He just waited for Howl to move or leave so he could move.

Howl eyes finally moved. He looked over to the stairs. There was no light up there too and no sounds not even the rain.

He turned and walked heavily up the stairs. The windows were the only source of light up there. He was slightly glad of that. He couldn't stand it if the sun was shining through the windows. He was possibly the reason it was so dark and raining.

He walked up to one of the windows and put his hand against the glass. The castle was flying low over the sea still heading towards the kings castle. He needed Suliman's help. Sophie might die if he didn't.

He turned away from the window and walked into his bedroom. This was the darkest room in the house not even the glow of the rain shone. The room had once been a beautiful lime green and yellow but now it was black.

Howl walked slowly towards the bed where he sat and waited.

Sophie's breathing was low and heavy that could barely be heard. He lay down so he could look at her face. He face was drained from energy and was pale in a bleached way. Carefully he held her close letting her lay her head rest on his shoulder. Sophie moaned gently but didn't awake. Howl couldn't imagine the agony Sophie could have been feeling now.

"You were always the strong one" he whispered to her stroking her hair. "You would know what to do." He whispered close to tears.

He rubbed her stomach gently against her lace night gown. He had been so happy when she told him. The thought of being a father had been so new the same way he felt when they got married.

She had waited the whole day to tell him. She had been so nervous and hadn't said a word the whole day he hadn't realised at the time but now that day was melted into his subconscious. She waited until the very end of the day possibly thinking the best way to explain.

It wasn't until he was an inch from falling asleep did she admit it with her back to him. Once he heard she was pregnant he sat up quickly and turned slowly towards her. "What?" he could just about whisper scared he had just misheard her.

She looked at him surprised for a second before whispering again "I'm pregnant."

It sounded like it was no big deal but she was possibly scared of what he might do next. Howl turned her over and kissed her on the lips holding her close. When he leaned back Sophie looked at him completely taken a back. Howl just laughed and turned over pulling her on to his chest.

"Sometimes I wonder if she even knows me" thought Howl sadly back in the dark bedroom. He looked over at the cradle he had made for her by magic. It was the only thing that wasn't shrouded in darkness like the other things in his room.

"A boy or a girl" he had whispered often to himself. He would love both. Patience wasn't Howl strong points. He would often beg her to let him see with magic what it was but she would not let him, that was Sophie. He chuckled to himself. She wouldn't let him anywhere near her for a month. He had to literally promise not to use magic to see what sex the baby was only after than did she let him feel her again.

That's when it started. It started as a slight cough. Sophie just coughed now and again and she insisted that it was nothing. "You worry too much Howl" she smiled weakly at him when he asked again if she was sick.

He had tried to except it but he still worried, any good husband would. He tried to wrap her up in silk and feathers but that only annoyed her.

He should have tried harder.

Her cough got worse until she was coughing through the night. She kept trying to assure him it was nothing but it was past nothing. Sophie insisted she was getting better but he knew she was lying if anything it was getting worse for her.

Than one night two weeks ago she collapsed suddenly. Howl's worst nightmare began.

Sophie only became weaker and weaker as time went on until she was completely unconscious to the world. No matter what spells Howl used it wouldn't make any difference. He could just keep her alive. Only one person was strong enough and powerful enough to save her and that was Suliman, his old teacher. But they were on the other side of the world when Sophie became so ill.

One week and they were still not even on the coast yet.

She was so weak. Howl shifted her in his arms gently kissing her forehead and stroked her starlight hair. "My beautiful Sophie" he whispered he blamed himself for this. "You can't die; I am not the person I was when I met you a year ago. And I might turn back to my old self if you do."

**~::~**

Sophie opened her eyes weakly. She only became conscious now for a few second usually at night. Today she felt stronger than usual; she might be able to move her body. She weakly raised herself up looking for Howl.

She saw him sleeping beside her. She shifted to him and collapsed onto his chest. Howl didn't awake.

Sophie felt her strength leaving her again. It was always so dark. Was that her eyes going or was the castle dark? She didn't know.

She wanted to be held by Howl, not to feel dead. She was just a shell and would become dead to the world again soon. She took Howl's arms and pulled them around her. Howl was always so patient and caring to her. She wondered what was happening.

"Howl wake up, I don't want to be lonely again." She whispered but it was so low he could never hear her. She pulled one of his hands towards her stomach letting him touch her. She wanted to shift better onto her husband's chest but she had lost her strength again.

Her eyes closed as she became dead to the world.

Maybe she might live long enough to see her child. "We'll have three children" she said to him four months again "A boy for you a girl for me and one for good measure." Howl had laughed at that and said Markel and one more were enough for him.

"I love you Howl" she whispered and then her world was dark again.

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	2. Chapter 2

I will always be with you

"We're exactly ten miles away" Calcifer stated looking up at Howl seriously. When Howl didn't answer he spoke again "What do you want me to do?"

"Land somewhere on the ground" Howl said looking up from his thoughts, "It's best if I go alone to Suliman, maybe it will be better that way" they both knew though that what he meant was that Howl may seem more humble if alone and would not have the need to be proud in front of Markel or in ear shot of Calcifer.

"What about Sophie?" Calcifer dared ask.

Howl had gotten his jacket and was putting it on but when Calcifer had spoken he paused a little but after a while he continued. "Well?" Calcifer said after a minute of silence.

"Keep her warm and have Markel check on her every half an hour if I'm gone that long."

"You're not taking her with you?" Calcifer cried in half shock and suspicion.

"I dare not move her." Howl said his back to him "The cold alone outside would kill her."

Calcifer nodded slowly, Howl walked to the door and opened it to the rainy night, "You're not going out now?" Calcifer piped up. Howl nodded slowly,

"I am faster than the castle." He muttered not turning around, "I just didn't want her to be alone."

"I don't think you know what you're doing." Calcifer said finally speaking his fears. "You don't know she'll help us, you don't know or it will work, you don't know what to do, you don't know if Sophie doesn't want to be save, you don't know what caused this, I bet you don't even know where you're going!-"

"I know that!" Howl finally snapped, "I don't know what else to do!" he yelled at the flame "This is her only chance, do you want it to go back to the way it was!"

"It's better than this." Calcifer stated looking at him in the eye.

Howl was silenced but he didn't have time for this, "I need to go." He repeated "When Markel wakes up make sure he takes care of her." Howl slowly transformed into his flying form.

"Of course." Calcifer muttered.

"And don't let her die." He said looking at him in the eye for a change before opening the door and jumping out into the stormy night.

**~::~**

Howl was shown down the dark, dark corridor by one of Suliman's servants who was about 8, the boy looked nervous from the sight of Howl in his still bird form and wet from the rain as he lead him down the corridor. Howl didn't look or even acknowledge at the boy, he just kept walking towards the light at the end of the corridor which only seemed to move forward an inch at a time.

When they finally made it to the room where Suliman was sitting with her back to him in front of the fire, "Well, well, Howl, you took your time." She said calmly not looking at him.

"I didn't know you were expecting me." Howl retorted knowing he really shouldn't be too surprised.

"Would you take a seat?" she asked gesturing to a chair opposite her.

"I prefer to stand" Howl said looking away from her; she didn't say anything to force him except gesturing the boy next to leave them. After a second of silence Howl spoke again "You know than why I'm here than."

"It wasn't too difficult to figure out why you would ever come here, you need my help." Howl slowly nodded grudgingly biting the sour bullet. "I'm your final hope." She said checking her rings.

"Isn't it obvious?" Howl said trying to sound grateful and hopeful instead of showing he was feeling the exact opposite.

"What do you think I can do?" she asked finally looking at him.

Howl's face slowly turned to surprise and horror before whispering "You're the only person I know who can help her, I am desperate you have to be able to do something to help her at least. You are the most powerful sorcerous I know and you have to do something. Please! I know you and I have had our problems and clashes but not with her, she is innocent in this and I know you can help her. She is my light and the only thing in my dark world that is pure and isn't tainted by my mistakes." Howl didn't even care anymore that that he was crying and that he was begging.

Suliman had looked away from him half way through the speech and was staring into the fire, "Have you ever had the thought that maybe its best this way."

"How can you say that!" he screamed at her, "How can you say that! If she was never here than the war would be still going and I would be still a child who was running away from my problems."

"And she wouldn't be dying." She stated looking at him, "if it wasn't for you, then like it or not Howl she wouldn't be dying now. She has been through enough because of you and all this, maybe dying is what we all need for peace and to die in an envious way in bed with hopes of the future, would you rather her die in pain alone?"

"That's not fair! And you can help me!"

"I can't."

Howl couldn't say anything, he could have retorted with "Can't or Won't" but what was the point? Either way she wasn't or couldn't help him.

**~::~  
><strong>"How did it go?" asked Calcifer as Howl moved into a chair in front of him. Howl didn't answer, "What happened?"

"Nothing, she can't do anything."

Calcifer looked down "Now what?" he asked slowly looking at him. Howl took a deep sigh looking at the floor. "No, Howl, we can't give up now." Calcifer said slowly almost sounding desperate.

"She told me it's best to let her go" Howl said still not looking at him.

"And when was the last time you ever listened to anyone Howl, especially her?"

"What else can I do, except make Sophie feel as comfortable as possible?"

"You fight for her and use everything you know to keep her alive, just has she been doing for these past few weeks." Howl looked at him finally, "So What do we do?" he repeated.

"We keep flying." Howl muttered looking serious finally.

Calcifer smiled a little in a definitive and proud way, "It's about time" he commented.

"Just fly" Howl said giving Calcifer a rare smile now, for the first time in weeks felt a little hopeful and that everything was going to be alright. Calcifer nodded and the castle began rising off of the ground into the air. "How's Markel?" It was the first time in weeks he had asked that.

"He's been taking care of Sophie all day; he has been finding it difficult too."

"How was she?" he asked trying to keep optimistic.

"She woke up a little while ago calling and asking for you, if you're lucky she maybe still awake."

Howl slowly rose and walked to and up the stairs to Sophie's room. Sophie had her back to him and he couldn't tell whether she was still awake or not. "Sophie" he whispered not wanting to scare her, Sophie didn't move but Howl still moved forward to look at her properly, "I'm here" he whispered feeling fresh tears in his eyes, "I've come back."

He kneeled down in front of her so he could see her face; he reached out and began stroking her silver hair. Sophie slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him weakly, "I missed you Howl."

Howl stared at her but smiled back eventually "How do you feel?" he asked trying to act normal, "Do you feel better?" he questioned.

"I feel very cold" she whispered looking at him in the eye, Howl moved her slowly and gently across the bed so he there was room for him to lie on the bed too, he slowly put his arms around her and began trying to warm her by rubbing her with his arms. "Where were you?" she whispered quietly putting her head on his shoulder.

Howl looked at her before answering "I went to Suliman to get her to make you better."

"What did she say?" Sophie asked looking up at him though she could tell by his mood and face that it must not have gone well.

"She said she can't do anything." Howl sighed looking away from her so she couldn't see him nearly cry (again).

"Everything will be fine, I'm sure" Sophie said smiling at him trying to be optimistic "Just as soon as the baby comes then I think I'll feel better and get better." She had started saying it strong but her voice became weaker during the end of the sentence until he could barely hear her.

He nodded putting on a brave face for the matter kissing her forehead smiling a little. "I'm sure things will be better soon" he said smiling at her "I promise." Sophie smiled and closed her eyes from exhaustion.

Howl laid back on the bed trying to relax for a change he slowly began rubbing her stomach slowly; he was just about to move some of Sophie's hair out of her eyes when suddenly there was a loud thud.

**~::~**

"-And I have never felt so embarrassed in my life." Calcifer continued to Markel as they spoke in the dark front room, "I mean it; I couldn't look at them ever again." Markel giggled at the story.

There was suddenly a loud thud outside; they both stopped immediately "Calcifer, what was that?"

"I don't know-"Calcifer began but then there was another thud this time it was so violent the castle wobbled in the air.

Howl ran down the stairs into the room, "What's going on?" This time before Calcifer could answer there was another thud and this time a sound of something ripping steel.

Howl quickly transformed into a bird and jumped out to see if what the danger was. When outside he saw about twenty or so black creatures pulling apart the metal chimneys at the top of the castle, Howl recognized them as wizards straight away. These were the wizards who couldn't change back to human, some now roamed the earth showing their rage and grief for this fact or they hung together like beasts in a pack or clan attacking anyone who came into their territory.

Howl quickly began pulling each one off of the castle hissing at them defensively.

Calcifer and Markel could just about see out of the hole made by the wizards "Master Howl, what's going on?" Markel called to him which of course Howl couldn't hear.

"Markel, quickly, go and make a spell to protect this room." Calcifer order turning to him, "Quickly!" he yelled when Markel didn't move.

"What about Sophie?"

"Get them off of us!" yelled Calcifer.

"HOWL!" yelled Markel desperately.

Howl was still struggling to fight them all off of the castle but they kept coming back. One began clawing at Sophie's window, Howl growled and grabbed the wizard just as it broke inside, shook him and then threw him off of the castle to the ground, Howl stood defiantly against them defending the broken window incase more tried to get in and hurt or kill Sophie.

He didn't notice one was near the wings of the flying castle until it was too late. Three ripped apart one of the wings made of metal and cloth. Howl heard the ripping and saw the wing ripped to shreds.

What happened next was so fast Howl nearly missed it. The castle which still had most of the wizards on it, with only one good wing dropped suddenly to the left hand side where it plummeted to the ground that looked miles away.

"No!" Screamed Howl as he fly desperately down to see if somehow or someway he could stop it or help.

The castle's legs were waving in the air as though bracing for a crash landing but the ground when the castle hit was too much for the thin delicate legs, it bounced a little and then fell on its side very nearly crushed.

Howl was stunned for what felt like such a long time; "no" he whispered "no" this couldn't be happening. He suddenly fly down as quickly as he could and began searching for his family. "Sophie! Calcifer, Markel! Sophie!" he called as loudly as he could.


End file.
